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一丛黑莓

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楼主:coffeecat 2009-02-18

接ld指示,俺要身先士卒,所以,就不怕笑话,把前些时候认领的一段文字扔出来,抛砖引玉吧。

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一丛黑莓

小男孩坐在妈妈的膝旁,倚在狭长的西窗边,望着花园。园中已是秋天,风呜呜地低鸣着,金黄的榆树叶散落在草叶间、洒在砾石小径上。妈妈织着一只小小的袜子,手指在银亮的毛线针上跳跃,双眼却凝视着清朗的夜空。

暮色渐渐深了。小男孩把头靠到妈妈的膝上,然后就一动也不动了。妈妈不禁把身子探了出去,好看清他那可爱的圆圆小脸。可男孩并没有睡着,他正紧紧地注视着一丛黑莓。篱笆外,一丛黑莓在风中摇曳着它深红的修长枝条。

“你在想什么,亲爱的?”她问,抚摸着男孩柔软的蜜色头发。

“那丛黑莓,妈妈,它在说什么?它一直在点头,一直在篱笆后面,对着我点头,它在说什么,妈妈?”

“它说,”她答道,“我看见,在升了火的温暖房间里,有一个幸福的小男孩。风吹得我好冷,这里又是这样地黑,这样地寂寞,而那个小男孩呢,他又暖和又快乐,安然地坐在他妈妈的膝上。我对着他点头,他也望着我,我在想,他知不知道他有多么幸福!

“看吧,我所有的叶片都变成了深红色,它们一日日地干枯萎谢了,不久就会变得虚弱无力,再难攀附在我的枝干上。北风会将它们席卷而去,再不会有人能将它们记起。然后,积雪会压上我的躯干,将我紧紧包裹。而当积雪融化,接踵而来的冷雨,又会将我包围,苦涩的风,又会将我赤裸的枝条,嘎吱摇晃。

“我对着所有经过的人点头,对着沉闷的黑夜和无聊的白昼点头。但,在那幸福的房子里,一切却是这样地温暖和明亮,那小小的男孩终日和他的书本和玩具戏耍,他的爸爸妈妈珍爱着他。夜来时,他会就着红色的火光,倚在他们的膝前,听他们为他念有趣的故事,或是为他唱起古老又甜蜜的歌曲——那幸福的小男孩!而我,站在这窗外,悄悄从雪里望过去,只见一道浅红色的光芒,从窗棂的隙缝里透了出来。我独自在这黑暗里点着头,想象着这一切该有多美。

“我耐心地等待着。我承受着雨雪和寒冷,但我并不觉得悲哀,相反,快乐依然。我那深扎地底的根茎,让我感受到温暖与生命,我知道我那小小的棕色蓓蕾,已经把不尽的绿意和美丽,安全地紧锁其中。日移夜逝,积雪一点一滴地融化,大地柔软而天空碧蓝,小鸟展翅轻飞,声声啼唱——‘春天来了,春天来了!’啊!到那时,我所有的枝条,都会察觉到树汁的缓慢躁动。

“阳光越来越温暖,空气越来越柔和。细小的草叶,把我的脚厚厚覆盖,甜美的雨露,让我闪亮的新芽鼓胀。用力,再用力,新叶喷涌而出,直到为我披上鲜艳欢跃的绿装,我喜悦而骄傲地点着头。小男孩跑过来看着我,叫道:‘哦,妈妈!小小的黑莓丛还活着,它翠绿又美丽。哦,快来看吧!’我倾听着,在夏日的风中低下我的头。他们看到我一天比一天更美丽,直到我摇曳出一树繁花,绚烂又芬芳。

“再过了些日子,我将垂下我白色的花瓣,并任由它们散落在草丛间。然后,看呀,嫩绿娇小的黑莓,长出来了呀!我小心地把它们托向太阳,我小心地收集夏夜的露珠—— 就这样,它们慢慢地成熟了,越长越大,越长越红,色泽越来越深,最后成为诱人的黑色,光彩四射,甜美可口。我为那小小的男孩把它们高高举起,他跳着、舞着,向我奔来,他喜悦地呼喊着,用他可爱的小手把它们摘下,跑回去与妈妈分享,口里说着:‘这就是耐心的黑莓丛为我们结出的果实,看呀,它们有多好,妈妈!’

“啊!那时我便会真的开心了,要是我会说话,我一定会说,‘是的,采下它们吧,亲爱的小男孩,我是为你把它们留下的。面朝太阳,面朝雨露,高高地举起它们吧!让它们为了你而甘甜,为了你而成熟。’我把头点了又点,满心欢喜:我的工作完成了。他从窗里望着我,想着,‘这就是那丛小小的黑莓,它待我是这样的好。我一看到它,就爱上了它。我知道,它虽然独自在寒风里摇摆,却不会枯萎死去,到了明年夏天,它还会举起成熟的黑莓,等着我来采摘。’”

于是,小男孩微笑了起来,他喜欢这个小故事。他的妈妈把他抱在怀里。他们去吃晚餐了,只留下那丛黑莓,在风中上上下下地点着头。直到如今,它还在那里,轻轻地点着头呢。

译自:Celia Thaxter's Stories and Poems for Children.

#2 漪然 2009-02-18

我点了又点我的头,这句读着有点别扭,去掉那个又字会不会好点呢?

#3 coffeecat 2009-02-18

你一说,我一看的确是这样好些,自己好像读不出来。

#4 囡囡妈 2009-02-18

有英文可以对照吗?

通读下来,真是个美好的故事。

一个问题是男孩是坐在妈妈膝上的,又怎么把头放在妈妈膝上呢?

另一个问题是关于“的地得”,赫赫,我个人对这个有点敏感。。比如第5段,“这里又是这样地黑,这样地寂寞”,不可以用“地”,要用“的”。“地”是用在动词前面的。

#5 paisley 2009-02-19

翻译得真好啊,语言和意境都好美。:)

#6 流云之鹰 2009-02-19

引用:
引用第1楼漪然于2009-02-18 21:28发表的  :
我点了又点我的头,这句读着有点别扭,去掉那个又字会不会好点呢?
那还不如改成“我把头点了又点”。点了点头和头点了又点,毕竟还是有区别的。

引用:
引用第3楼囡囡妈于2009-02-19 01:26发表的  :
另一个问题是关于“的地得”,赫赫,我个人对这个有点敏感。。比如第5段,“这里又是这样地黑,这样地寂寞”,不可以用“地”,要用“的”。“地”是用在动词前面的。
.......

真要较真的话,这里应该用“得”。黑是形容词,这里用作补语,所以应该用“得”

#7 囡囡妈 2009-02-19

引用:
引用第5楼流云之鹰于2009-02-19 12:00发表的  :


真要较真的话,这里应该用“得”。黑是形容词,这里用作补语,所以应该用“得”

恩,个人以为,真要较真的话,这里不可以用“得”,只能用“的”。这里的“黑”是名词,后面省略了。

记得以前老师教过“的地得”的用法,应该有专业的资料可以查。专业学中文的同志,如果有这方面信息,可以帖上来让大家学习一下哈。

#8 漪然 2009-02-19

“得”确实是加在形容词前面的,但是,通常是加在有动词开头的句子里,比如,跑得快,飞得远;“地”确实是加在副词后面的,但是,通常是加在有动词垫后的句子里,比如,轻轻地摸,远远地望;这里的词是“这样地黑”,“这样”是一个副词,而非动词,而黑是一个形容词,所以这里没有动词,用“得”和“地”都不太合适,其实,原来完全可以直接说“这样黑”,我觉得“de”在这里的作用更接近一个语气助词,所以个人觉得,还是用“的”比较合适:)

#9 流云之鹰 2009-02-19

黑是形容词,寂寞这里也是用作形容词的。不过我说错的是,这里的形容词不是用作补语,补语一般修饰动词,但这里的“这样”应该是表示程度的副词才对,是副词修饰形容词的情况。类似的情况,比如多么好。多么美,这么乖,这样高等等。

#10 paisley 2009-02-20

汗,好专业,我最怕这些术语啦。嘿嘿。

根据我的直觉,应该是“的”。:)

#11 暮溶 2009-02-21

耐心的黑莓真好。
我也觉得吧,该是用“的”。

#12 coffeecat 2009-02-24

这么分析起来,是应该用“的”,但是,我的语感,还停留在鲁迅俞平伯朱自清的时代,所以下意识地用了“地”。

如果一定要分析到底用哪个的话,我的选择是哪个也不用,就说这样黑,这样寂寞,就ok了。

原文在这里:
The Blackberry-Bush
    Next Story

A little boy sat at his mother's knees, by the long western window, looking out into the garden. It was autumn, and the wind was sad; and the golden elm leaves lay scattered about among the grass, and on the gravel path. The mother was knitting a little stocking; her fingers moved the bright needles; but her eyes were fixed on the clear evening sky.

As the darkness gathered, the wee boy laid his head on her lap and kept so still that, at last, she leaned forward to look into his dear round face. He was not asleep, but was watching very earnestly a blackberry-bush, that waved its one tall, dark-red spray in the wind outside the fence.

"What are you thinking about, my darling?" she said, smoothing his soft, honey-colored hair.

"The blackberry-bush, mamma; what does it say? It keeps nodding, nodding to me behind the fence; what does it say, mamma?"

"It says," she answered, `I see a happy little boy in the warm, fire-lighted room. The wind blows cold, and here it is dark and lonely; but that little boy is warm and happy and safe at his mother's knees. I nod to him, and he looks at me. I wonder if he knows how happy he is!

"`See, all my leaves are dark crimson. Every day they dry and wither more and more; by and by they will be so weak they can scarcely cling to my branches, and the north wind will tear them all away, and nobody will remember them any more. Then the snow will sink down and wrap me close. Then the snow will melt again and icy rain will clothe me, and the bitter wind will rattle my bare twigs up and down.

"`I nod my head to all who pass, and dreary nights and dreary days go by; but in the happy house, so warm and bright, the little boy plays all day with books and toys. His mother and his father cherish him; he nestles on their knees in the red firelight at night, while they read to him lovely stories, or sing sweet old songs to him,--the happy little boy! And outside I peep over the snow and see a stream of ruddy light from a crack in the window- shutter, and I nod out here alone in the dark, thinking how beautiful it is.

"`And here I wait patiently. I take the snow and the rain and the cold, and I am not sorry, but glad; for in my roots I feel warmth and life, and I know that a store of greenness and beauty is shut up safe in my small brown buds. Day and night go again and again; little by little the snow melts all away; the ground grows soft; the sky is blue; the little birds fly over crying, "It is spring! it is spring!" Ah! then through all my twigs I feel the slow sap stirring.

"`Warmer grow the sunbeams, and softer the air. The small blades of grass creep thick about my feet; the sweet rain helps swell my shining buds. More and more I push forth my leaves, till out I burst in a gay green dress, and nod in joy and pride. The little boy comes running to look at me, and cries, "Oh, mamma! the little blackberry-bush is alive and beautiful and green. Oh, come and see!" And I hear; and I bow my head in the summer wind; and every day they watch me grow more beautiful, till at last I shake out blossoms, fair and fragrant.

"`A few days more, and I drop the white petals down among the grass, and, lo! the green tiny berries! Carefully I hold them up to the sun; carefully I gather the dew in the summer nights; slowly they ripen; they grow larger and redder and darker, and at last they are black, shining, delicious. I hold them as high as I can for the little boy, who comes dancing out. He shouts with joy, and gathers them in his dear hand; and he runs to share them with his mother, saying, "Here is what the patient blackberry-bush bore for us: see how nice, mamma!"

"`Ah! then indeed I am glad, and would say, if I could, "Yes, take them, dear little boy; I kept them for you, held them long up to sun and rain to make them sweet and ripe for you;" and I nod and nod in full content, for my work is done. From the window he watches me and thinks, "There is the little blackberry-bush that was so kind to me. I see it and I love it. I know it is safe out there nodding all alone, and next summer it will hold ripe berries up for me to gather again." '"

Then the wee boy smiled, and liked the little story. His mother took him up in her arms, and they went out to supper and left the blackberry-bush nodding up and down in the wind; and there it is nodding yet.

(From Celia Thaxter's Stories and Poems for Children.)

from Stories to Tell to Children by Sara Cone Bryant

#13 coffeecat 2009-02-24

引用:
引用第5楼流云之鹰于2009-02-19 12:00发表的  :


真要较真的话,这里应该用“得”。黑是形容词,这里用作补语,所以应该用“得”

我把头点了又点,我同意这个。

#14 囡囡妈 2009-02-25

猫猫,谢谢你的英文原文,

“A little boy sat at his mother's knees”,是坐在妈妈的膝旁。:)

#15 coffeecat 2009-02-26

那就是我弄错了,看走眼。。。谢谢

#16 涉江采芙蕖 2009-03-04

译得不错,最后一段很有味道

#17 天使好好 2009-03-17

我想当主人公啊!好幸福啊!

#18 笑一笑 2009-03-17

表情占位:s:136 我没有看见过黑莓,我也想看看。我想住在黑莓生长的花园的旁边的木头小屋中……

#19 梅子青 2009-03-27

译得很不错嘛!
学习了 表情占位:s:135

#20 coffeecat 2009-03-31

这篇短文,我自己修改的时候,给小丫头念过。
昨儿出去玩,我告诉她,你看哦,春天来了,黑莓都发芽了。
她于是对她自己说:看到没有,小米毛,这是大米毛的书里讲过的哦。

这个都记得,哇哇。

#21 落花微雨 2009-04-01

新人,来报个到。这一篇,我看了手痒,也翻了一下。可以在这里发吗,想请各位指点。

#22 coffeecat 2009-04-01

可以啊,你另开一个贴,大家看到的机会高一些啊

#23 落花微雨 2009-04-02

谢谢版主鼓励哦,我还是没有信心……

#24 梦幻仙子 2009-04-06

表情占位:s:137

#25 coffeecat 2009-06-26

现在大家多热闹啊,我也自己顶起来凑个热闹
本人为数不多的几篇翻译啊,忝为斑竹,5~

拼命挑刺啊,走过路过挑了刺才放你通过

#26 盈果 2009-06-26

好优美的文字啊,可惜我不懂得欣赏,我喜欢故事,呵呵,但是我会尽量也读这些给孩子听的