好故事呀!喜欢这只善良的羊。
Sheep sorrel 是羊酸模(草)
最后一句:
And the little boy often reached his hand through the bars and patted him gently on the head.
是把手伸进栅栏里…图片占位:http://rs.phpwind.net/E___5190ZHALPWFG.gif
第一次翻译一篇完整的故事。哇哈哈哈~~~ 我居然也会翻译故事啊!
请大家不要客气地拍砖、挑刺吧。反正我就是来凑热闹的。能来幻想国凑热闹也真不容易啊 表情占位:s:138
黑绵羊
黑绵羊,黑绵羊,你有羊毛吗?
是的,我的小主人,满满三大袋;
一袋给我的主人,一袋交给贵妇人,
还有一袋给那住在小巷的小男孩。
那是一个明媚的春日,阳光照耀着牧场,温暖而舒适。新鲜的牧草长得那么细嫩多汁,绵羊们都觉得从未品尝过如此美味的东西。
那天早晨,绵羊们度过了一次奇特的经历。牧场主将他们带到小溪,给他们洗澡。然后,他把绵羊们的腿绑在一起,放倒在草地上。接着,用一把巨大的剪子剪下他们身上又厚重又柔软的羊毛。
绵羊们不大喜欢这样,因为剪子总是会时不时地扯到羊毛,弄伤他们。而且,他们被剪毛时,感觉很怪异。他们赤裸裸地看着牧场主和他的帮工将羊毛放进屋子里的大袋子中。一只老公羊低沉地说:
“他们将把羊毛纺成线,做成外衣和裙子。人身上不长羊毛(长毛是好的),因此他们拿我们的羊毛穿在自己身上。”
“我很可怜那个住在巷子里的小男孩,”一只黑绵羊说,“他没有羊毛穿。除非我们给他一些羊毛,否则他永远也没法保暖。”
“来做好事儿吧。”老公羊接着说,“那我们得在冬季长出更多的羊毛。”
“那些没有羊毛做衣服的人们怎么办呢?”一只小羊羔问。
“我可真不知道了。他们在冬天的时候,一定快被冻僵了吧。也许,老公羊能告诉我们。”黑绵羊说。
但是,老公羊拒绝作任何回答。于是,绵羊们开始在牧场上分散开来,各自吃着鲜嫩的牧草。
黑绵羊在巷子附近徘徊着,一抬头,只见那个小男孩正透过栅栏看着他。
“早上好,黑绵羊!”男孩说,“为什么你今天早上看起来如此滑稽?”
“他们剪掉了我的羊毛。”黑绵羊回答。
“他们为什么这么做呢,黑绵羊?”小男孩问。
“他们拿它去做衣服,好让自己暖和。”
“我真希望我能有一点儿羊毛,”男孩说,“因为我非常需要一件新的外衣。可是,妈妈太穷了,不能给我买一件。”
“那真糟糕,”黑绵羊回答,“不过,我以后会有更多的羊毛,到时候给你满满一袋去做一件新外衣。”
“真的?”男孩一脸兴奋地问。
“真的,”黑绵羊回答,“只要等我的羊毛再长出来,你就能得到你那份。”
“哦,谢谢!”小男孩说完,跑去告诉他妈妈黑绵羊所说的话。
当牧场主再次进入农场,黑绵羊对他说:“主人,您从我身上剪下几袋羊毛?”
“两大袋,”牧场主回答,“那的确是很好的羊毛啊!”
“如果下次我长出三大袋羊毛,我能自己要一袋吗?”黑绵羊问。
“为什么?你要一袋羊毛做什么?”牧场主问。
“我想把它给住在巷子里的小男孩。他需要一件新外衣。”
“很好,”牧场主回答,“如果你能长出三大袋羊毛,我将给那男孩一袋。”
于是,黑绵羊开始长羊毛。他尝试各种方法长出羊群中最好最厚的羊毛。他总是躺在牧场中阳光最好的地方,在小溪最干净的地方喝水,并且只吃鲜美多汁的牧草芽儿和最细嫩的羊酸模。小男孩每天都来到栅栏边看望黑绵羊,问羊毛长得怎么样了。
“我长得很好,”黑绵羊回答,“牧场里没有哪一只羊长了我这么多羊毛。”
“我能为你做些什么吗?”小男孩问。
“没什么可做的,我想,”黑绵羊回答,“除非你能给我一点儿盐。我相信盐对羊毛生长有帮助。”
小男孩朝家跑去,央求妈妈给了他一捧盐。然后他又跑回栅栏那儿,让黑绵羊舔他手里的盐。
一天天过去,黑绵羊的羊毛长得越来越长,甚至连老公羊都在意了。
不过,黑绵羊对此没有回应。终于又到了剪羊毛的时候,牧场主和他的帮工进入牧场来看绵羊。他们吃惊地看到黑绵羊长了一身多么美好、多么丰厚的羊毛啊!
“至少有三大袋,”牧场主说,“我将遵守诺言,给住在巷子里的小男孩一袋。”
黑绵羊跑到小巷边的栅栏那儿,满心欢喜等着小男孩的到来。当小男孩看见正等着他的黑绵羊,他问:
“黑绵羊,黑绵羊,你有羊毛吗?”
黑绵羊回答:
“是的,我的小主人,满满三大袋!”
“太好了!”男孩说,“但是这三袋羊毛是给谁的呢?”
“一袋给我的主人,一袋交给贵妇人,还有一袋给那住在小巷的小男孩。”
“谢谢你,黑绵羊!”小男孩说,“你很善良,当我穿上新外衣就会想起你。”
第二天,绵羊都被剪毛了,黑绵羊的羊毛剪了满满三大袋。牧场主遵守了他的诺言,将一袋羊毛给了住在小巷的小男孩。羊毛是如此柔软、如此厚重,不仅够做一件外衣,还能给他妈妈再做一件暖和的裙子。
后来,小男孩经常把手伸进栅栏里,就那样,温柔地拍一拍黑绵羊的头。
——————————————————————————————————————
原文:
http://oaks.nvg.org/goose-prose.html#blashe
The Black Sheep
Black sheep, black sheep, have you any wool?
Yes, my little master, three bags full;
One for my master and one for his dame,
And one for the little boy that lives in the lane.
It was a bright spring day, and the sun shone very warm and pleasant over the pastures, where the new grass was growing so juicy and tender that all the sheep thought they had never tasted anything so delicious.
The sheep had had a strange experience that morning, for the farmer had taken them down to the brook and washed them, and then he tied their legs together and laid them on the grass and clipped all the heavy, soft wool from their bodies with a great pair of shears.
The sheep did not like this very well, for every once in a while the shears would pull the wool and hurt them; and when they were sheared they felt very strange, and they were quite naked to look at as they watched the farmer and his man carry their wool up to the house in great bags. An old ram said surly,
"They will spin it into threads and make coats and dresses. For no wool grows on men, it is good to have, and that's why they take our fleece that they may cover men!"
"I'm sorry for that little boy that lives in the lane," said the Black Sheep, "having no wool on him. He will never be able to keep warm unless we give him some of our wool."
"Here comes the good part," said the ram again; "we shall grow more wool by wintertime."
"What do those people who haven't any sheep do for clothes?" asked the lamb.
"I'm sure I don't know. They must nearly freeze in the winter. Perhaps the ram can tell us," said the Black Sheep.
But the ram refused to say anything, so the sheep began to scatter over the pasture and eat the tender, new grass.
By and by the Black Sheep wandered near the lane, and looking up, saw the little boy watching it through the bars.
"Good morning, Black Sheep," said the boy; "why do you look so funny this morning?"
"They have cut off my wool," answered the sheep.
"What will they do with it, Black Sheep?" asked the little boy.
"They will make coats of it, to keep themselves warm."
"I wish I had some wool," said the boy," for I need a new coat very badly, and mamma is so poor she cannot buy me one."
"That is too bad," replied the Black Sheep; "but I shall have more wool by and by, and then I will give you a bagful to make a new coat from."
"Will you really?" asked the boy, looking very much pleased.
"Indeed I will," answered the sheep. "Just wait till my wool grows again, and then you shall have your share of it."
"Oh, thank you!" said the boy, and he ran away to tell his mother what the Black Sheep had said.
When the farmer came into the field again the Black Sheep said to him, "Master, how many bags of wool did you cut from my back?"
"Two bags full," replied the farmer; "and it was very nice wool indeed."
"If I grow three bags full the next time, may I have one bag for myself?" asked the sheep.
"Why, what could you do with a bag of wool?" questioned the farmer.
"I want to give it to the little boy that lives in the lane. He needs a new coat."
"Very well," answered the master; "if you can grow three bags full I will give one to that boy."
So the Black Sheep began to grow wool, and tried in every way to grow the finest and heaviest fleece in all the flock. She always lay in the sunniest part of the pastures, and drank from the clearest part of the brook, and ate only the young and juicy shoots of grass and the tenderest of the sheep-sorrel. And each day the little boy came to the bars and looked at the sheep and asked how the wool was growing.
"I am getting along finely," the Black Sheep would answer, "for not one sheep in the pasture has so much wool as I have grown already."
"Can I do anything to help you?" asked the little boy.
"Not that I think of," replied the sheep, "unless you could get me a little salt. I believe salt helps the wool to grow."
So the boy ran to the house and begged his mother for a handful of salt, and then he came back to the bars, where the Black Sheep licked it out of his hand.
Day by day the wool on the sheep grew longer and longer, and even the old ram noticed it."
The Black Sheep did not reply to this. Finally the time came to shear the sheep again, and the farmer and his man came into the pasture to look at them, and were surprised to see what a fine, big fleece the Black Sheep had grown.
"There will be three bagsful at the least," said the master, "and I will keep my promise and give one to the little boy in the lane."
The Black Sheep ran up to the bars by the lane and waited with a glad heart till the little boy came. When he saw the sheep waiting for him he asked,
"Black Sheep, Black Sheep, have you any wool?"
And the sheep replied,
"Yes my little master, three bags full!"
"That is fine!" said the boy; "but who are the three bags for?"
"One for my master, one for his dame, And one for the little boy that lives in the lane."
"Thank you, Black Sheep," said the little boy; "you are very kind, and I shall always think of you when I wear my new coat."
The next day the sheep were all sheared, and the Black Sheep's fleece made three big bagsful. The farmer kept his promise and carried one bag to the little boy that lived in the lane, and the wool was so soft and so heavy that there was enough not only for the new coat, but to make his mother a warm dress as well.
And the little boy often reached his hand through the bars and patted him gently on the head.
好故事呀!喜欢这只善良的羊。
Sheep sorrel 是羊酸模(草)
最后一句:
And the little boy often reached his hand through the bars and patted him gently on the head.
是把手伸进栅栏里…图片占位:http://rs.phpwind.net/E___5190ZHALPWFG.gif
嘿嘿,多谢多谢~~~
哇哇,暮溶MM的场子肯定要捧的哈!!!
热烈欢迎热烈欢迎~!!! 表情占位:s:135
欢迎了再说回头慢慢看
先占地儿 表情占位:s:134
这篇,龙腾也翻了,可以先对照着去看看。。
西西,要不要俺也给你这个配点画画啥的? 表情占位:s:134
我看完啦,慕溶第一次就翻译了这么难的啊。整体感觉还行,就是有的地方可能没有注意,需要修改润色一下。
我的几点读后感和建议:
1“看着农民和他的人将他们的羊毛放进屋子里的大袋子中”
感觉不大通顺,农民和谁呢,他的什么人呢?牧场主和他的雇工们吗?
2“那些没有绵羊来做衣服的人们怎么办呢?”一只小羊羔问。
是 那些没有羊毛来。。。的吧
3还有这里的农民更确切的说是牧场主吧?
慕溶再润色一下,呵呵 表情占位:s:138
谢谢月饼~~
那个The farmer ,我也是觉得“牧场主”意思更合适。不过,我以为这个词就是“农民”的意思,不确定就没敢改。
嗯,翻译完了就觉得,啊,真高兴!没再好好看,就发上来了。。。脸红。
稍后有空要再修改一下。
对了,月饼最近在练习画画吧。那帮咱画一只黑绵羊表情占位:s:135
引用:
引用第8楼暮溶于2009-07-23 13:51发表的 :
谢谢月饼~~
那个The farmer ,我也是觉得“牧场主”意思更合适。不过,我以为这个词就是“农民”的意思,不确定就没敢改。
嗯,翻译完了就觉得,啊,真高兴!没再好好看,就发上来了。。。脸红。
稍后有空要再修改一下。
对了,月饼最近在练习画画吧。那帮咱画一只黑绵羊表情占位:s:135
恩,我试试吧表情占位:s:134
没见过黑绵羊
结合照片画的
先弄个草图,看看大概
附件占位:#7475
亲爱的暮,你翻译的很清新温暖,有你自己文字的风格和影子。
有的地方,还不够流畅,这个流畅,有时候并不是大的地方,也不是文字费解,而是一些小的转折词,承上启下的那些小词语。
谢谢猫,我明白一点儿了。对于这个童话翻译,我是完全没有概念没有经验的家伙。不过,还是觉得蛮好玩,大家的指点也让我觉得很开心。
我去看了龙腾的,果然,比我的好很多啊 表情占位:s:134
大家都是从没有经验到一点点积累经验嘛
我也是门外汉呢,有兴趣的话,咱们一起学习进步哈! 表情占位:s:134
引用:
引用第13楼慕容胖胖于2009-07-24 10:44发表的 :
大家都是从没有经验到一点点积累经验嘛
我也是门外汉呢,有兴趣的话,咱们一起学习进步哈! 表情占位:s:134
胖胖你比我勤快多了表情占位:s:135
一定快被冻起来了吧,
是不是,快被冻僵了吧?
“没什么可做的我想,”——“不需要做什么,我想”中间是不加个逗号。
最后一句,“就那样”还不如去了?反正也是并列结构
谢谢大手拉小手。前两个,你的建议是比我原来的好。一会儿再去修改,呵呵~~~
最后一句“后来,小男孩经常把手伸进栅栏里,就那样,温柔地拍一拍黑绵羊的头。”
因为我觉得这一句翻译出来太短,显得故事结束得比较生硬。所以,自己加了“就那样”,把节奏放慢,更柔和一点。这是我自己的意思啦。 表情占位:s:135
亲爱的,我给挑几个刺咋样?
1。度过了一次奇特的经历
度过了一次经历,好像这样搭配有点怪?
2。人身上不长羊毛(长毛是好的)
这句能不能再想想,处理一下呢。因为这是一句说出来的话,最好不要有这种括号吧?
谢谢胖~~~ 今天太晚了,明天找时间再改吧。 表情占位:s:183