如何能让翻译既生动流畅又保留原文韵味？

前天我看了叮咚叮咚翻译的《森林里的小屋》，当时是浏览了一遍中文，觉得他翻译的挺好的，故事我也挺喜欢~~就把它给复制在电脑里，打算带回去仔细看看~~后来回去我对比原文时~~发现有许多句子我脑子里有自己的译法，于是便试着翻译出来~~对比下各种译法的好劣·~~
翻译出来后，我对比的感觉是，我的译法是，尽量保留原文的语序和表达方式，在此基础上予以优化。这样能保持原文的韵味，但由此带来了一点，容易拗口和生硬~~而叮咚叮咚他则调整了一些语序和原文的表达方式~~使之通俗化~~这样会容易准确生动流畅，但觉得原文一些微妙的韵味则丧失不少~~，我这么比只是将我们俩的特点极端表达，其实自己翻译时就老是在这两端犹豫不决~~~不知道大家是不是也是这样，有没有什么好的解决方法~~~是不是有一种更高的角度来统一两者~~希望大家来多多指导帮我解惑~~
现在我把我的译文发生让大家参考这一下~~
本来不想发的~~但心中疑惑太盛~~想到我是初学者别顾及那么多了~~
最重要大家要说说自己的经验和感觉~~

应来来来同学的要求，我贴上叮咚叮咚的译文，删去差不多的

果然感觉是不可靠的~~我发现有些我改原文的比他还多~~
THE HUT IN THE FOREST

OUTSIDE in the forest there was deep snow. The white snow had crusted the branches of the pine trees, and piled itself up them till they bent under its weight. Now and then a snow-laden branch would bend too far, and huge lumps of snow fell crashing to the ground under the trees. Then the branch would swing up, and the snow covered it again with a cold white burden. Sitting in the hut you could hear the crashing again and again out in the forest, as the tired branches flung down their loads of snow. Yes, and now and then there was the howling of wolves far away.
【我的翻译】屋外，森林里的雪积的很厚了。白雪在松树的枝头点点飘落，堆积着，压得它们弯下了腰。不时的，满载雪的枝条弯得厉害了，巨大的雪块便滑落下来，扑通一声坠在林地上。枝条又摆了回去，雪继续落下，重新给它加上冰冷白色的重担。坐在小屋里，你听到树林里的扑通声一声接一声地响起，就知道那些累极了的枝条在猛摔他们的雪担子呢。哦，远处隐隐传来的是狼的嗥叫声。

【叮咚叮咚】小木屋外的森林里，覆盖着厚厚的雪。白雪裹在松树的枝条上，一点一点堆积起来，压得它们弯下腰去。有时候，被雪压着的枝条弯曲得太厉害了，大堆的雪就滑落下来，轰隆一声砸到树下的地面上。枝条弹回去摇摆几下，冰冷洁白的雪花继续飘落，再一次把它压住。坐在小木屋里，你会听到森林里不停地传来轰隆声，那正是累得受不了的枝条把积雪狠狠甩到地上的声音。嗯，远处还常常传来狼的嗥叫声。

[12] Little Maroosia heard them, and thought of them out there in the dark as they galloped over the snow. She sat closer to Vanya, her brother, and they were both as near as they could get to the door of the stove, where they could see the red fire burning busily, keeping the whole hut warm. The stove filled a quarter of the hut, but that was because it was a bed as well. There were blankets on it, and in those blankets Vanya and Maroosia rolled up and went to sleep at night, as warm as little baking cakes.
【我的翻译】小玛露西亚静静听着，脑中浮想起它们在外面黑暗的雪地上飞奔的样子。她不由得朝哥哥万尼亚挪了挪身子。他俩都紧靠着火炉门边，看着红红的火焰忙碌地烧着，好让整个小屋保持温暖。火炉占了小屋的四分之一大小，不过那是因为它同时也是床。它上面放着毛毯，万尼亚和玛露西亚晚上睡觉时，把毛毯卷在身上躲进它们里面，暖和的就像烘烤着的小蛋糕。

【叮咚叮咚】小木屋里，小姑娘玛露西亚听着狼嗥，想着它们在黑夜里奔跑过雪地，不禁向哥哥万尼亚坐近了些。他俩都尽量往火炉口靠近。红色的火焰在炉子里熊熊燃烧，整个小木屋都暖融融的。火炉很大，把小屋一小半的地方都占满了，因为它还是一张床，上面铺着毯子。晚上睡觉时，万尼亚和玛露西亚就用这些毯子裹住身子，温暖得好像烘着的小蛋糕。

The hut was made of pine logs cut from the forest. You could see the marks of the axe. Old Peter was the grandfather of Maroosia and Vanya. He lived alone with them in the hut in the forest, because their father and mother were both dead. Maroosia and Vanya could hardly remember them, and they were very happy with old Peter, who was very kind to them and did all he could to keep them warm and well fed. He let them help him in everything, even in stuffing the windows with moss to keep the cold out when winter began. The moss kept the light out too, but that did not matter. It would be all the jollier in the spring when the sun came pouring in.
【我的翻译】小屋是用森林里砍的松木搭起来的。你还可以在它上面发现清晰的斧痕。老彼得是万尼亚和玛露西亚的爷爷。这座树林里的小屋就他们三人住着，因为兄妹俩的爸爸妈妈都已经死了。不过万尼亚和玛露西亚很少想起爸爸妈妈，他们和老皮特在一起过的很快乐，他对兄妹俩非常好，总是想方设法让他们暖暖和和的，有好吃好喝。老皮特让兄妹俩帮着干任何事情，包括冬天开始时用苔藓塞窗户缝以挡住寒气这种小事。苔藓也把光给挡出去了，但没关系。它会让你整个春天阳光涌入小屋时都觉得更快乐。

【叮咚叮咚】小屋是用森林里砍来的松木建成的，看得见斧头砍过的痕迹。老彼得是玛露西亚和万尼亚的爷爷。他们的爸爸妈妈都去世了，就爷爷一个人带着他俩生活在森林中的这幢小木屋里。爷爷对他们很好，尽心照顾，不让他们饿着、冻着，兄妹俩因此过得很开心，几乎不会想起爸爸妈妈。爷爷什么事都让他们帮忙，包括在冬天来临时用苔藓堵住窗口，不让冷空气进来。苔藓把光线也挡住了，不过没有关系，等春天来了，阳光尽情地洒进小木屋，那是多么叫人快活的事情啊！

Besides old Peter and Maroosia and Vanya there were Vladimir and Bayan. Vladimir was a cat, [13] a big black cat, as stately as an emperor, and just now he was lying in Vanya's arms fast asleep. Bayan was a dog, a tall gray wolf-dog. He could jump over the table with a single bound. When he was in the hut he usually lay underneath the table, because that was the only place where he could lie without being in the way. And, of course at meal times he was in the way even there. Just now he was out with old Peter.
【我的翻译】除了老彼得、玛露西亚和万尼亚，弗拉迪米尔和巴彦也住在小屋里。弗拉迪米尔是只猫，一只肥大的黑猫，总是端着架子像个国王。现在，它正躺在万尼亚怀里睡大觉呢。巴彦是条狗，一条高大的灰狼狗。它可以一跳就跳过一整张桌子。只要是在小屋，他总喜欢躺在桌底下，因为只有那里才不挡路，它才可以美美地睡上一觉不被打扰，当然，吃饭时他躺桌底下也是挡路的。现在它正跟着老皮特一起外出呢。

【叮咚叮咚】除了老彼得、玛露西亚和万尼亚，屋里还住着弗拉迪米尔和巴延。弗拉迪米尔是只大黑猫，庄重威严，像个皇帝。现在，他就躺在万尼亚的怀里呼呼大睡。巴延是条灰色的狼狗，很高大，一蹦就能跳过桌子。平时在家，他都躺在桌子底下，因为除了那里，他躺哪儿都会挡着路，当然，吃饭的时候，就是躲桌子底下也碍事了。现在，他跟老彼得在外面打猎。

Vladimir stirred suddenly in Vanya's lap, and a minute later they heard the scrunch of boots in the snow, and the stamping of old Peter's feet trying to get the snow off his boots. Then the door opened, and Bayan pushed his way in and shook himself, and licked Maroosia and Vanya and startled Vladimir, and lay down under the table and came out again, because he was so pleased to be home. And old Peter came in after him, with his gun on his back and a hare in his hand. He shook himself just like Bayan, and the snow flew off like spray. He hung up his gun, flung the hare into a corner of the hut, and laughed.
【我的翻译】蜷在万尼亚膝上睡的弗拉迪米尔突然伸了伸腰，过了一会儿，他们就听到靴子碾在雪地上的声音，还有老彼得的跺脚声，他正试着让雪从他靴子上脱落下来。接着门开了一条缝，巴彦忙挤进来，甩甩身子，凑到玛露西亚和万尼亚身边亲热地舔着，把弗拉迪米尔给惊醒了。巴彦钻进桌底下躺下又忍不住起来走走，回家让它太兴奋了。老彼得是跟在它后面进来的，背着他的枪，拎着一只野兔。他也像巴彦那样甩甩身子，雪花四处飞溅，散出一阵雾气。他把枪挂在墙上，把野兔扔在屋角，爽朗地笑了起来。

【叮咚叮咚】睡在万尼亚膝盖上的弗拉迪米尔突然起来了。不一会儿，他们听见靴子踩着雪地的卡嚓声，还有老彼得跺脚的声音—他想把雪从靴子上抖下来。门开了，巴延挤进来，抖了抖身子，舔舔玛露西亚和万尼亚，还吓了弗拉迪米尔一跳。他躺到桌子底下，又兴冲冲地爬出来，因为回到家太高兴了。老彼得跟着进屋，背上背着枪，手里拿着一只野兔。他像巴延一样抖了抖身子，雪花像喷雾一样飞散开来。他挂好枪，把野兔扔到一个角落里，咧嘴笑了。

[14] Vanya and Maroosia had jumped up to welcome him, and when he opened his big sheepskin coat, they tumbled into it together and clung to his belt. Then he closed the big woolly coat over the top of them and they squealed; and he opened it a little way and looked down at them over his beard, and then closed it again for a moment before letting them out. He did this every night, and Bayan always barked when they were shut up inside.
【我的翻译】万尼亚和玛露西亚雀跃起来张着手跑向他，老彼得张开了他那巨大的羊皮大衣，他俩一同跌进他的怀里，紧紧抱着他的腰。紧接着那巨大的羊皮大衣又合上了，淹没过他俩的头顶，兄妹俩便惊声尖叫起来；老彼得把大衣张开了一道小口，好透过胡子的缝隙看一看孩子们，最后他重新合上了大衣，过了好一阵子，他才让他俩出来。他每天晚上都这么做，每当兄妹俩在羊皮大衣里消失不见时，巴彦总在旁边紧张地大叫起来。

【叮咚叮咚】万尼亚和玛露西亚早就跳起来迎接他了。他刚打开他那宽大的羊皮大衣，他俩就一齐扑了进去，紧紧抓住他的皮带。这件大衣毛茸茸的，很大，一合上，就把两个孩子连脑袋一起裹了进去。他俩在里面兴奋地尖叫起来。他把大衣打开一条缝，低下头，目光越过胡须，慈爱地看着他们。然后，他再次裹住他们拥抱了一阵，才放他们出来。每天晚上，他都这样爱抚孩子们，巴延看到他们被裹在里边，也激动得汪汪大叫。Then old Peter took his big coat off and lifted down the samovar from the shelf. The samovar is like a big tea-urn, with a red-hot fire in the middle of it keeping the water boiling. It hums like a bee on the tea-table, and the steam rises in a little jet from a tiny hole in the top. The boiling water comes out of a tap at the bottom. Old Peter threw in the lighted sticks and charcoal, and made a draught to draw the heat, and then set the samovar on the table with the little fire crackling in its inside. Then he cut some big lumps of black bread. Then he took a great saucepan full of soup, that was simmering on the stove, and emptied it into a big wooden bowl. Then he went to the wall where, on three nails, hung three wooden spoons, deep like ladles. There were one big spoon, for old Peter; and [15] two little spoons, one for Vanya and one for Maroosia.
【我的翻译】老彼得脱下了他的大衣，从架子取下一个大茶壶。这个茶壶和别的茶壶有点不同，在它中央有个小火炉，好让水一直开着。它在茶几上嗡嗡地叫着像个小蜜蜂，水汽从它头顶的小喷嘴细孔中不断喷出。开水从靠壶底端的龙头放了出来。老彼得向茶壶的小火炉里添了点木棍和炭条，拨了拨火，好通通风升高点温度。接着他把大茶壶放在桌上，火苗在里面噼啪作响。他切下几大块黑面包，又端出一大锅汤，它们在炉子上已经炖了很久，他把它们盛进一个大木碗里。接着他走向一面墙，墙头钉子上挂着三个木勺，它们深的足够舀汤。他把它们取来，大的给自己，小的那两个，一个给万尼亚，一个给玛露西亚。~~大茶壶参照了【囡囡妈】的说法~~

【叮咚叮咚】老彼得脱下大衣，从架子上拿起茶炊。茶炊是俄国人用的大茶壶，看起来跟我们用的一样，不同的是，壶中间还竖了个圆筒，圆筒里燃着红红的火，好让周围的水一直沸腾着。放在茶几上，它会像蜜蜂一样嗡嗡作响，蒸汽从顶上的一个小孔钻出来往上升，热水可以从底下的一个水笼头放出来。老彼得扔了些燃着的枝条和木炭进去，扇了几下风引火，然后把茶炊放在茶几上，让那团小小的火苗在里面劈啪作响。随后，他切了几大块黑面包，从火炉上端起炖着的平底锅，把满满一锅汤倒进一只很大的木头碗里。他走到墙边，墙上钉着三个钉子，上面挂了三个跟汤勺一样深的木头勺子，大的那个是老彼得的，两个小的是万尼亚和玛露西

And all the time that old Peter was getting supper ready he was answering questions and making jokes—old ones, of course, that he made every day—about how plump the children were, and how fat was better to eat than butter, and what the Man in the Moon said when he fell out, and what the wolf said who caught his own tail and ate himself up before he found out his mistake.
【我的翻译】老彼得手上准备着晚餐，嘴里也没闲着，他回答着孩子们的古怪问题，还给他们讲笑话——当然，是那些他每天都讲的老笑话——比如说孩子们有多么胖了，肥肉又是如何地美味胜过了黄油，月亮上的人掉下来时喊得是什么话，还有那只狼，抓住自己的尾巴把自己啃光还浑不自觉，它临死前又说了什么搞笑的话。

【叮咚叮咚】老彼得一边准备晚餐，一边回答两个孩子的问题，还讲着笑话。当然那是他每天都讲的老笑话，关于孩子们有多胖，关于肥肉是怎样地比黄油好吃，关于月亮上的人掉出来时说了什么，关于那头抓住自己的尾巴、把自己吃掉以后才发现错误的狼，它又说了什么。

And Vanya and Maroosia danced about the hut and chuckled.
【我的翻译】万尼亚和玛露西亚听的直发笑，忍不住在小屋里手舞足蹈起来。

【叮咚叮咚】万尼亚和玛露西亚咯咯笑着，在小屋里蹦来跳去。