A LOVELY SUNNY DAYby Gordon Dioxide
It was a lovely sunny day in Oak Tree Farm. An 8-yearold boy called Tommy lay by the stream listening to the sounds of thecountryside. The birds were singing, the cows were mooing, the lionswere roaring, and the sheep were .....
Hang on, did I say lions? Yes I did, and they were heading straight for Tommy.
Tommy stood up and saw the three fierce lions coming across the field.
He heard a noise behind him, and, lookinground, saw a grizzly bear stomping towards him. On his right were alarge number of tigers staring at him, and on his left, in the stream,was a crocodile.
There was no escape. Tommy didn't knowwhat to do. He thought for a moment and realised that the only way outwas downwards, so he got a spade and started to dig. But he couldn'tdig fast enough - the lions were rapidly approaching, the grizzly bearwas just a few feet away, the tigers were starting to move, and thecrocodile was snapping at his heels.
Suddenly, a spaceship flew down from the sky and picked him up.
"Phew, that was a close shave" thought Tommy.
Now he was flying through space at ahundred miles an hour. The spaceship was driven by two aliens, bothcalled Dave. They were green with large red eyes and yellow horns. Oneof them was wearing a T-shirt with the words "I've been to BuckinghamPalace and seen the queen" across the front. The other one wore anidentical T-shirt.
Tommy was pleased to have been rescued from the animal attack, but was a bit unsure about where these two Daves were taking him.
It was quite warm in the spaceship, soTommy asked if the heating could be turned down. Unfortunately, neitherDave was quite sure how the heating system worked so one of them openeda window instead. This was a big mistake because space is a vacuum andquite capable of sucking things out of spaceships. This is exactly whathappened to the two Daves - they were sucked out of the window, neverto be seen again.
Tommy shut the window and sat down at thecontrols. He'd never driven a spaceship before and was going to have tolearn fast, otherwise he'd be in big trouble.
He saw a red button with the letter R onit, and pressed it. The radio came on playing Wannabe by the SpiceGirls. Pressing a button marked W started the windscreen wipers, but itwasn't raining so he turned them off.
Eventually he taught himself how tocontrol the spaceship using the steering wheel and gear stick. Hebrought it down to Earth and landed in his back garden just in time fortea.
He told his mum about his little adventure, but she told him to stop telling lies and get on with his fish fingers.
Forty years later, Tommy was 48-years oldand he went on holiday to Spain with his family. While relaxing on abeach he saw two objects falling from the sky. They landed on histowel, and, on closer inspection, Tommy realised that it was the twoDaves! After all this time they had finally fallen out of space andback to Earth.
The two Daves were delighted to seeTommy, and Tommy said he would look after them. Now, although the twoDaves looked the same, they were in fact completely different. One wasclever, and one wasn't. Let's call them Clever Dave and Not-so-CleverDave.
Tommy said he would drive them to a shopto get some decent clothes. Tommy got in the driving seat, Clever Davegot in the passenger seat, and Not-so-Clever Dave got on the roof rack.When the car started to move, Not-so-Clever Dave fell off the back ofthe car. He had to chase after them, but as he wasn't very good atrunning he decided to catch a bus. He climbed on board the number 46bus and sat on the driver's lap. The bus followed the car all the wayto the clothes shop.
In the shop Clever Dave put on a niceblack suit and tie. Not-so-Clever Dave put a shirt on his legs, somesocks over his ears, a hat on his feet and some shoes on his shoulders.He thought he looked smart, but he actually looked quite ridiculous.
Then they went to a posh restaurant tohave a meal. Clever Dave picked up his knife and fork and ate his food.Not-so-Clever Dave picked up his food and ate his knife and fork! Heeven said it tasted delicious. For pudding, he had the tablecloth and alady's purse.
Not-so-Clever Dave had a lot of troubleadapting to life on Earth. He couldn't understand why people had to payfor things in shops, so he kept getting arrested for helping himself.
One day, the two Daves were making a cakefor Tommy's birthday. Clever Dave was mixing some flour and sugar,while Not-so-Clever Dave was mixing some eggs and dynamite. WhenNot-so-Clever Dave put the mixture in the oven, there was a hugeexplosion and both Daves were blasted back to space, never to be seenagain.
Tommy was sad to lose his friends, but tried to get on with life as best he could.
Another forty years went past and Tommywas now very old. One day, he was doing some gardening when he saw anaeroplane flying past. There seemed to be something hanging from one ofthe wings, so he got his binoculars to have a better look. Suddenly,whatever it was came free from the plane and started to float down tothe ground. It turned out to be two things, not one, and both of thosethings were Daves.
Tommy was delighted to see his oldfriends again, although it was a shame that Not-so-Clever Dave hadlanded on his flower bed. They went into the house and got something toeat, because both Daves were hungry after floating around space for 40years.
Tommy mentioned that he wished he wereyoung again, because being old can be a bit of a problem. Then anamazing thing happened. Clever Dave produced a pack of Magical WishingPowder and sprinkled it over Tommy.
Suddenly, Tommy was 8 years old again!He was lying by a stream in Oak Tree Farm and it was a lovely sunnyday. The birds were singing, the cows were mooing, the lions wereroaring, and the sheep were .....
Yes, thanks to Clever Dave, Tommy wasable to live his life all over again. This time though, he dug a bitfaster and escaped from the animals through a tunnel. In his secondlife he never met the Daves, but he always had happy memories of them...
Here are a few questions to see if you have been listening ...
What animals were attacking Tommy?
What were the aliens wearing when he first met them?
Where did Not-so-Clever Dave sit on the bus?
What did Not-so-Clever Dave mix into the cake?
Do you think aliens really exist?